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Self-compassion - a Game Changer

๐’๐ž๐ฅ๐Ÿ-๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐š๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง encompasses three main elements:

โ€˜ย ๐Ÿฅฐย 1, ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐Ÿ-๐ค๐ข๐ง๐๐ง๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌโ€”being kind and understanding toward oneself in instances of pain or failure rather than being harshly self-critical,

๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆย 2, ๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐จ๐ง ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฆ๐š๐ง๐ข๐ญ๐ฒโ€”perceiving oneโ€™s experiences as part of the larger human experience rather than seeing them as separating and isolating, and

๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™€๏ธย 3, ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐๐Ÿ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ง๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌโ€”holding painful thoughts and feelings in balanced awareness rather than over-identifying with them. Self-compassion is an emotionally positive self-attitude that should protect against the negative consequences of self-judgement, isolation, and rumination (..)โ€™ (Neff, 2003, p. 85).

๐Ÿ™This wonderful concept is in the heart of my life and my coaching practice, it was life-changing for me and I cannot emphasise enough itโ€™s importance.

โ˜ย Self-compassion doesnโ€™t mean wallowing in self-pity nor the lack of motivation to improve. In fact, โ€˜self-compassion is positively correlated with personal growth initiative - being actively involved in making changes needed for a more productive and fulfilling lifeโ€™ (Neff et al., 2007, p. 913).

Not beating ourselves up for perceived shortcomings, perceived mistakes or flaws. Instead, we can turn toward ourselves, and show kindness, warmth and understanding. And these can give a safe ground to step on the path of development if thatโ€™s what one aspires.

๐ŸŒŸSelf-compassion is positively associated with:

โœ”psychological well-being


โœ”enhanced psychological health


โœ”life satisfaction

โœ”social connectedness

โœ”personal initiative


โœ”healthier lifestyle choices

โœ”better interpersonal relationships

It is also related to:

โœ”ย less self-criticism

โœ”ย lower depression

โœ”ย less anxiety

โœ”ย less rumination

โœ”ย less thought suppression

โœ”ย less neurotic perfectionism

A useful first step is to catch your critical self-talk and change it for a kind and understanding language toward yourself. Imagine that you talk to someone that you cherish and apply it to yourself. Ask yourself: โ€˜What can I do to help?โ€™



Neff, K. D. (2003b). Self-compassion: an alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2, 85โ€“102.

Neff, K. D., Kirkpatrick, K. L., & Rude, S. S. (2007). Self-Compassion and Adaptive Psychological Functioning. Journal of Research in Personality, 41, 139 154.

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