๐๐๐ฅ๐-๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง encompasses three main elements:
โย ๐ฅฐย 1, ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐-๐ค๐ข๐ง๐๐ง๐๐ฌ๐ฌโbeing kind and understanding toward oneself in instances of pain or failure rather than being harshly self-critical,
๐จโ๐ฉโ๐งโ๐ฆย 2, ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐จ๐ง ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ข๐ญ๐ฒโperceiving oneโs experiences as part of the larger human experience rather than seeing them as separating and isolating, and
๐งโโ๏ธย 3, ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐๐๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ง๐๐ฌ๐ฌโholding painful thoughts and feelings in balanced awareness rather than over-identifying with them. Self-compassion is an emotionally positive self-attitude that should protect against the negative consequences of self-judgement, isolation, and rumination (..)โ (Neff, 2003, p. 85).
๐This wonderful concept is in the heart of my life and my coaching practice, it was life-changing for me and I cannot emphasise enough itโs importance.
โย Self-compassion doesnโt mean wallowing in self-pity nor the lack of motivation to improve. In fact, โself-compassion is positively correlated with personal growth initiative - being actively involved in making changes needed for a more productive and fulfilling lifeโ (Neff et al., 2007, p. 913).
Not beating ourselves up for perceived shortcomings, perceived mistakes or flaws. Instead, we can turn toward ourselves, and show kindness, warmth and understanding. And these can give a safe ground to step on the path of development if thatโs what one aspires.
๐Self-compassion is positively associated with:
โpsychological well-being
โself-esteem
โenhanced psychological health
โmotivation
โlife satisfaction
โsocial connectedness
โpersonal initiative
โagreeableness
โhealthier lifestyle choices
โbetter interpersonal relationships
It is also related to:
โย less self-criticism
โย lower depression
โย less anxiety
โย less rumination
โย less thought suppression
โย less neurotic perfectionism
A useful first step is to catch your critical self-talk and change it for a kind and understanding language toward yourself. Imagine that you talk to someone that you cherish and apply it to yourself. Ask yourself: โWhat can I do to help?โ
Sources:
Neff, K. D. (2003b). Self-compassion: an alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2, 85โ102.
Neff, K. D., Kirkpatrick, K. L., & Rude, S. S. (2007). Self-Compassion and Adaptive Psychological Functioning. Journal of Research in Personality, 41, 139 154.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2006.03.004
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