𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 encompasses three main elements:
‘ 🥰 1, 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬—being kind and understanding toward oneself in instances of pain or failure rather than being harshly self-critical,
👨👩👧👦 2, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲—perceiving one’s experiences as part of the larger human experience rather than seeing them as separating and isolating, and
🧘♀️ 3, 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬—holding painful thoughts and feelings in balanced awareness rather than over-identifying with them. Self-compassion is an emotionally positive self-attitude that should protect against the negative consequences of self-judgement, isolation, and rumination (..)’ (Neff, 2003, p. 85).
🙏This wonderful concept is in the heart of my life and my coaching practice, it was life-changing for me and I cannot emphasise enough it’s importance.
☝ Self-compassion doesn’t mean wallowing in self-pity nor the lack of motivation to improve. In fact, ‘self-compassion is positively correlated with personal growth initiative - being actively involved in making changes needed for a more productive and fulfilling life’ (Neff et al., 2007, p. 913).
Not beating ourselves up for perceived shortcomings, perceived mistakes or flaws. Instead, we can turn toward ourselves, and show kindness, warmth and understanding. And these can give a safe ground to step on the path of development if that’s what one aspires.
🌟Self-compassion is positively associated with:
✔enhanced psychological health
✔healthier lifestyle choices
✔better interpersonal relationships
It is also related to:
✔ less self-criticism
✔ lower depression
✔ less anxiety
✔ less rumination
✔ less thought suppression
✔ less neurotic perfectionism
A useful first step is to catch your critical self-talk and change it for a kind and understanding language toward yourself. Imagine that you talk to someone that you cherish and apply it to yourself. Ask yourself: ‘What can I do to help?’
Neff, K. D. (2003b). Self-compassion: an alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2, 85–102.
Neff, K. D., Kirkpatrick, K. L., & Rude, S. S. (2007). Self-Compassion and Adaptive Psychological Functioning. Journal of Research in Personality, 41, 139 154.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2006.03.004